I've had a lovely last 2 weeks after a not so lovely week 1 after cycle 2 (weeks, cycles, sessions, treatments, its mind boggling!). I've had lots of lovely coffees and lunches with some lovely people and in the last week it's been half term and I have had a lovely week away with Mark and the kids at our new caravan. That's right, we have joined the static caravan club while in our 30's! (a fact I'm holding onto for at least another 8-9 months!!). The caravan resides in the lovely town of Knaresborough, and we have had a week of walking, village visits, pub calls, lovely food, lovely visitors and rainbows! I made the conscious decision to remain T Total in order to be kind to my liver after the last cycle, only to arrive home Friday, have my bloods taken, and the results; my ALT is high again. So, ALT (Alanine-Aminotransferase, a mouthful right?!) is basically a test that measures liver cell death. Now, like anything in medicine, in isolation means exactly that, liver cell death. In conjunction with other abnormal results could mean lots of other things are going wrong with your liver (and the list is endless, from liver cancer to tic bites!). The rest of my liver function is fine and so the thought is, that this is most likely an effect of chemo, chemotherapy drugs are broken down in the liver and kidneys and as result can cause dysfunction and even cell death at this point.
This meant only one thing, back to a time tested plan; lemons, lemons, lemons. Lemons are thought to help the liver by way of being an antioxidant defense, google it, its rife! But the research is widely scrutinised and a tad woolly to say the least! However, in the absence of being able to remove my liver and give it a hug, this will suffice, and in all fairness I feel better for doing it. So because of this, I've coined this treatment with the phrase 'Lemon-Aid' - see what I've done there!! Now I'm sure someone has coined it before now, but I've got lung cancer so I'm taking it! So, anyway it worked and I had cycle 3 of my chemo, thats 3 down 3 to go, can I get a halfway hallelujah up in here (said in a sassy RuPaul voice!!!)
I also got to have an appointment with clinical psychology today. Now I've been generally upbeat about this whole thing, I can't change it right? But I do have darker times, when I get upset and have not nice thoughts, I'm only human right? and accessing these services seems the right thing to do. The thoughts are varied; about what life will be like when I am no longer here, how Mark and the girls will manage with me gone, how my family and friends will feel without me in their life (modest eh?!). Unfortunately those thoughts will not go away and I have to find ways of living with them. I have an incurable cancer, I therefore live with a threat to my life everyday, not an imminent threat for now but a threat all the same, as long as the threat is there so too are the thoughts. Now, I'm very lucky, I am showered with love, support and friendship almost every day, these are the things that bring me out of the darkness and into the light (wow, that's profound!) and thats whats important.
Now, I hate to end with a bit of cheese, but I'm a sucker for a cliche, so here goes "hug your loved ones a little tighter today, tomorrow is not promised, and neither is next week, next month or next year."
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